Yes you can, according to Stanford scholars Dan McFarland and Dan Jurafsky who have researched the subject. Good news then for speed daters! They analysed encounters between people speed dating to figure out what makes some people feel a sense of connection after meeting and others not feel a connection at all.
Their analysis of 1,000 speed dates found that words really do matter!
The most successful dates were reported when:
- The conversation was based mainly around the woman
- Men used appreciative language (‘that’s amazing’) or showed sympathy (‘that must have been a difficult time’)
- Men interrupted women but not in a rude way! If a guy interrupted to engage in the conversation or finish the sentence then that led to a more successful connection.
The least successful dates were reported when:
- Lots of questions were used by either party. It showed the conversation was lagging or they had nothing of interest to say.
So in a nutshell, next time you go speed dating be sure to be positive, keep the focus on the woman and finish each other sentences off and you’re onto a winner!
More information on the study can be found in The American Journal of Sociology.