When the initial pain, anger and upset of a broken relationship begins to fade, we are often filled with regrets. In particular, regrets around the way the relationship ended.
Saying goodbye to a relationship is an emotional period. In the final stages of a relationship have you ever:
- Said something cruel and hurtful to the other person?
- Attacked them with your words in a highly personal way?
- Done something out of character in a negative way?
I’m ashamed to admit that I can own up to all these at various parts of my life. As a woman in my late teens going through a break up, I remember calling out my then boyfriend on something I knew he was insecure about. Let’s imagine he was insecure about spots on his face. I basically told him he had horrible spots and nobody would ever like him because of it. How cruel is that? Very. Yes I was heartbroken that he was calling it quits, I was hurt, I was angry and I was upset (and a little embarrassed that he was breaking up with me – has anyone else ever felt that?). It’s no excuse though. I remember perfectly the moment I spat the words at him and the regret I felt within around, ohh, 2 seconds! Too late, the damage was done!
I could never take back those words
I will never forget the crushed look on his face. The fact I remember the event so vividly means it’s something that has ingrained in my memory because it’s a) out of my character b) something I’m ashamed of and 3) left me with regrets.
In the same we often have regrets about the things we said, we often regret the words we didn’t say. Perhaps that’s telling then how much they meant to you or being open and honest as to why the relationship has come to an end. Perhaps you never got a chance to talk after the relationship came to an end. Maybe there was no chance for a last goodbye. The opportunity gone….
This is an area James Ratnarajah, film maker, explores in his short film ‘Where Are You Now’.
Where Are You Now? from James Ratnarajah on Vimeo.
What did I take away from ‘Where Are You Now?’
To never let words go unspoken.
To never take for granted the time my partner and I have together. Also true for family and friends.
To tell those I love how much they mean to me and not wait until tomorrow.
So with that in mind I want to tell you guys how thankful I am that you take time out to read my blog, to comment, to engage with me. I know you’re all busy and have so much choice on what to read. I’m so grateful that you take time to swing on over here.
Much Love
Caroline x
When my ex husband and I broke up we both said the worst things imaginable to one another, I still remember everything I said and everything he said to me. For the sake of our children we put on a united front but when things are venomously said how do you get back from that? You cant.