At my dating agency Mutual Attraction the same question is cropping up over and over:
“We had a good first date but I’m not sure there was a spark, should I see them again?”
My response is always the same. Can you answer yes to any of these:
- Did they make you laugh and smile?
- Did you find them interesting?
- Were they polite, friendly and make you feel at ease?
- Did they take the time to ask you questions and get to know you?
- Did you have fun?
Then here’s why you should say YES to a second date
That ‘spark’, ‘zing’ or ‘chemistry’ – whatever you want to call it, isn’t always instant. In fact in a lot of happy couples it’s not there at all initially but instead it grows.
Remember the married couple I met at the My Single Friend party who almost never got past date 1 because he didn’t feel the ‘spark’?
We have become so obsessed with needing that ‘wham love has just hit me in the face’ moment that we rule out people who make us laugh, smile and who we have fun with purely because we aren’t floored by them instantly.
Love DOES happen like the movies – most people aren’t swept away straight away!
They say love doesn’t happen like it does in the movies but sure it does.
What’s the main storyline in chick flicks these days? A girl and guy thrown together much to their disdain, they don’t get on or are just friends, they spend time together and something happens, they start to become more fond of one another, to genuinely care for them, to see them in a different light. Of course then they have to have a massive falling out before declaring love for one another but hopefully you can skip that part 🙂
Give people a chance
Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying you should go on a second date with everyone you meet. Sometimes you just know they aren’t the one for you – maybe you have too different values or they were simply an ass on the date (we’ve all been there right?!).
But next time you have a date where you enjoy yourself, say yes to a second date even if that ‘spark’ isn’t there yet. It CAN grow and it DOES. You owe it to yourself to explore opportunities with people you have fun with.
After all, isn’t it hard enough these days simply meeting someone new, on your wavelength you have fun with? Go with it and give love a chance…. You never know what will happen!
Caroline x