Dating at 29 Vs Dating at 31

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Oh yes I can relate to this!!

Have you ever had the urge to scream from the top of your lungs your frustration with dating? Are you pessimistic about finding ‘Mr Right’ when you were once a Disney fairy-tale loving, my prince is around the corner, kinda gal? Has your optimism given way to a general feeling of shittines? Then you will love this video on dating at 29 Vs dating at 31 by  Garfunkel and Oates - 2 female comedienne songwriters who have a way with words. You may also recognise one of them as Raj’s girlfriend from The Big Bang Theory ;)

What I love about the video is that it’s sort of true. When we hit the big ’30’ things change. There’s a shift from having a 2 to a 3 at the beginning of your age that puts the fear of God in even the coolest, most calm and collected woman. Friends start settling down at a rapid snowball effect pace and that endless supply of eligible men that were around in your 20s seems to be disappearing, vanishing into thin air.

Of course, it’s all dramatized and i’m first to say that age is nothing but a number, my clients are proof of that. But this video definitely made me think ‘oh yep’!

 

 

 

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How to Handle Pressure to Settle Down

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How to Handle Pressure to Settle Down

“Your turn next”

“I know this great guy, he hasn’t been on a date in 10 years but I think he’d be perfect for you”

“Look at your sister – wouldn’t you like to have a family like hers?”

“Don’t worry dear; it will happen for you one day”

“Better get a move on, that clock is ticking!”

Sound familiar?

From your recently loved up friends playing cupid to the magazine articles that inform you your chances of conceiving are dwindling at the speed of light, to the uncle/brother/ inebriated grandma who regularly points out the obvious as if it’s something you weren’t aware of – that you’re single. As a single woman, there is a lot of pressure to settle down. To get married. To have babies. To buy a house. To have a perfect little life. And a dog, the picture isn’t complete without a dog.

Basically, if you haven’t got a blown up black and white cheesy portrait photo of your happy family posing awkwardly in a studio adorning your wall – you’ve not made it.

It’s usually said in jest and not meant maliciously, not that that stops you from having an urge to test out your right hook on them! Well-meaning family and friends who are coupled up and in love want you to have the same. Family, particularly parents, want to see that you’re ‘taken care of’ and protected. They want to see you happy (yes of course, you can be completely happy and content single but you know where I’m coming from).

Sometimes it’s easy to brush off the comments and pressure to have someone to take home at Christmas. Other times the comments wriggle their way into your mind and heart. It can really hurt. You put on a brave face and a smile and laugh it off. You don’t want to tell them to stop as it’s making a big deal out of it, yet you begin to dread having to defend the fact you’re single. Even when you tell people you are HAPPY they give you that look. The one that says “sure you are, sure, we believe you”.

Even worse it doesn’t get better when you’re in a relationship. It’s merely replaced with when are you getting married?” Followed by when are you having kids?” which is then topped by “you better get a move on having baby #2 if you want them to play together.”

3 Tips for Handling Pressure to Settle Down

1. Communicate with those close to you

Before it gets to the point where a) it really upsets you b) you get snappy with them or c) you start to avoid being around them – talk to the family and friends making the comments. They probably think their old clichés are funny and don’t realise their jibes hurt or frustrate you. If they did and they love you, they wouldn’t dream of doing it. Don’t get grumpy but equally don’t laugh it off. Pull them aside and let them know you love that they care and want the best for you, but that their comments aren’t appropriate and that you shouldn’t have to justify your happiness. Give them a cuddle, they will feel suitably embarrassed (or laugh in off in awkwardness) and move on.

2. Remember it’s better to wait than settle

When you feel pressured into something, you’re more likely to rush into a decision you might not be ready to take. If you settle with someone because it’s convenient, because you feel you have to do what those around you are doing the chances of long terms happiness are slim. It’s better to hold off and know that you’re committing to someone for all the right reasons. Life is too short to settle.

3. Stay true to yourself

You might not believe in marriage. Perhaps babies aren’t on your radar. You would rather focus on your career right now. However you feel is what is right for you. Always stay true to what you believe in and how you want to live your life, it’s nobody else’s – it’s yours and yours alone. It’s easy to get swept along with the herd but if that’s not what will make you happy break away from the pack. Live YOUR dream, not someone else’s. Love is DEFINITELY (can I say that loud enough?) worth holding out for.

Handling pressure to settle down is something not just women face, but men to. Can we decide right here, right now, that we won’t ever say any of the comments at the beginning of this post to others? Aside from anything, you never truly know what’s going on in someone’s life. Be a friend, be a caring family member and strive to make people feel awesome about themselves.

Failing the above you can always start your very own mannequin family which is exactly what Suzanne Heintz did!

Caroline x

 

Psst! Are you a member of my awesome dating community? If you want free dating advice to your email each week then sign up here!

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Best UK Dating Blog Award Nomination

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It’s the dating world award season and i’m up for Best UK Dating Blog in the ‘Great Dating Blogs’ awards – can I get a woop woop?!

Great Dating Blogs and the Great Dating Blog Awards are designed to showcase the very best expertise in the Dating Industry. Running since 2011 both professional and amateur entries are accepted. We want to celebrate your work!
Awards range from Dating Vlogs, Best Overall Dating Blog, Best Newcomer, Best Dating Podcast, Best Adult Dating Blog, Best Niche Dating Blog, Best Dating App, Best Dating Book and the highly sought after Editors and Readers Choice Awards.
As you awesome ladies know I love writing about all things love, relationships, dating and being the happiest you can be. I often write the blog in the evenings or at the weekends as my working week is filled with matchmaking at Mutual Attraction. Over the coming year i’ll be taking the blog to the next level and have so many exciting things planned that I know you will LOVE!
I want to take this opportunity to say thank you for being with me, I know there are so many great dating blogs out there and the fact you read mine and that it hopefully helps you in finding love? Well that’s just pretty amazing and I am so grateful.
More information to follow about the ‘Best UK dating blog award’ but for now, have an amazing weekend and i’m sending you virtual kisses for all your support.
With gratitude.
Caroline x

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Have You Considered Using a Matchmaker to Find Love?

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Should You Consider Using a Matchmaker to Find Love?

Isn’t it funny how you can spend day in, day out doing the same thing and know it inside out and back to front, but when someone places a camera in front of you, you suddenly think ‘hmm what do I do again’?!

That’s what happened to me the other week when I filmed with online dating website Strictly Dating. Having done live TV you would think a pre reordered little video wouldn’t bring out the sweats but sweat I did! 4 takes in and I think we were all thinking ‘this is going to be a VERY long morning’!

Fortunately a strong cup of tea (how hardcore!) got me going and before long we had filmed 12 dating advice videos and it was time for a cookie break. This video is short and sweet (I was still warming up) but I do give a brief overview of why you should seriously consider using a matchmaker to find love.

 

 

Thanks so much for watching. I would love you to be part of my matchmaking and community. If you’re single, fabulous and looking for love then sign up for my newsletter below.

Love – Find It, Get It, Keep It.

Bye for now

Caroline x

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Why You Need to Stop Analysing Men to Find Love

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Men are not complicated creatures. Far from it (sorry guys!) ;)

From working with hundreds of smart, savvy and sophisticated women I can tell quite quickly why someone such a great catch is single. Sometimes it’s just a case of not yet crossing paths with ‘the one’. Other times, it’s because they don’t understand men and/or they spend too much time trying to analyse them.

Let me be very clear – it is not worth your time or energy trying to analyse them. All it does is become a hindrance in meeting someone special and I’m sure we can all agree, it’s hard enough meeting a man you really connect with without putting up more barriers to meet him! It’s time to stop analysing men.

My matchmaking clients are both men and women and without a shadow of a doubt the guys are always more straight forward to match. They make their judgement AFTER a date and not before, something many women are guilty of – hands up who is guilty? :P

Analysing men is pointless. For starters they are a different breed to us ladies, they really aren’t that complicated and often what you see is what you get. I want to share with you 5 true stories that will highlight whey you need to stop analysing men, chill out and focus your energy on the date.

5 Real Life Examples of Why You Need to Stop Analysing Men

1) “His first message to me was too formal”

Or too casual. Or too long. Or not long enough. I’ve had them all. First off – what are you expecting? If a guy is emailing or texting you to arrange a first date don’t expect beautiful prose – you may not have even met him yet! Cut the poor guy some slack already  ;-)  I once coached a woman who forwarded me a message similar to this:

“Hi it’s X here from eHarmony. Looking forward to meeting you, when would be good for you? There’s a new tapa bar opened in the City if you’re up for giving it a try?

Look forward to hearing from you”

He signed off with his work signature and she forwarded it straight to me asking what did I think. She felt it was too serious commenting that it was rather short like he hadn’t make much effort. I asked her what else she thought he should have said. Her response? “I don’t know really, just something else”! Most men are practical and to the point. So long as it’s polite and asks you out then who the heck cares about the rest?! Respond, set a date and don’t judge a man by his email!

2) “He has only asked to see me on a week night so i’m not a priority”

If you’re a fan of ‘The Rules’ you’ll be itching by date 3 for a weekend date and I agree, it’s important to see one another at a weekend as it adds a whole different dimension to the date. Oh and you get to see their sense of style when they’re not wearing a suit/work clothes! But…and this is a big but ladies…you probably aren’t a priority yet. Please don’t hate me for saying that. But if you’re going on a first date, or are a few dates in then it’s probable you’ll have a week day evening date and you know what? That’s fine. Weekend time is precious and if you’re anything like me, booked up a couple of weeks in advance. Or simply, he just hasn’t thought to suggest a weekend. Yes really! So, if you want to meet him at a weekend, forget analysing why he won’t and suggest a weekend date – done! If you’re not sure what to do for your date check out this post on great date ideas. Smart women are pro active women.

3) “I’m not sure on his 6th facebook profile picture”

Facebook – a curse and joy rolled into 1. In this day and age we’re used to knowing a lot about people, it’s become natural instinct to type their name into Google as soon as you know it. If you happen to be able to see his pictures you’ll be having a field day nosying and getting yourself in to a tizz about who the hot blonde is and panicking you’re not as good looking as her. As you guessed I’m speaking from experience :-)

One ex client found everything she could online about the man I matched her with who, and I’m not being biased here, was awesome! The date was already set when she pulled the plug because, on a Facebook picture he was wearing a vest. I’m not talking a wife beater vest here (how very un-pc!). A printed vest that fills the high street at the first glimmer of sunshine. She was horrified. I pointed out he was on holiday in Thailand and the top was totally normal but to no avail. She couldn’t even meet someone who happened to wear a top she didn’t like. Are you surprised to hear she’s still single…..?

Take pictures found online with a pinch of salt, better still, don’t look at all and just meet him in the flesh!

Psstt! We all know dating photos are super important, here’s some tips on how to express your style through photos.

4) “He didn’t firm up the date to a few days before so I don’t think he’s interested”

Wouldn’t you rather a guy wait to confirm a date when he knows he can meet rather than cancel last minute? Men are straightforward – if he says he wants to see you, he wants to see you. So long as he makes the effort to set a date, confirm in good time e.g. not on the day (unless he told you that beforehand) then what’s the problem? This is 2014. People are busy, most have active life’s, family, demanding jobs and as so long as you have a date pencilled in the diary, the details can be firmed up nearer the time. Go with the flow, dating doesn’t have to be a military operation!

5) “He says he likes tennis in his profile but I don’t so he’s not a good match for me”

My other half loves going to the gym and playing racquet sports. I can’t think of anything worse. Does that mean we are a bad match? No. You don’t need to have everything in common. In fact, I cherish my quiet Saturday mornings pottering around the house whilst he goes to the gym. Too many of us analyse men’s dating profiles to death. For starters he may actually only play tennis once in a blue moon, he wouldn’t be the first to exaggerate on a dating profile! Secondly you might quite like it if he taught you to play and thirdly you don’t have to like it. In the same way he probably isn’t jumping for joy when he reads you ‘love to have afternoon tea with the girls’. Of course, interests do play a part in a happy relationship and there needs to be some common ground but if you’re analysing his compatibility based on a game of tennis, rugby, city breaks, whatever it is – you are crazy. Totally nuts. Off your rocker. Bonkers. Crackers. You get the picture ;-)

Stop analysing and start living and experiencing. One man told me about how a woman analysed him on the actual date – what a turn off! Treat your date how you would like to be treated yourself. Don’t judge and make your mind up on him before you’ve even sat down together. If you do, you may be missing out on the kind of love you dream of.

Go get em!

Love

Caroline x

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London Dating Workshop for Fabulous Single Women!

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Ready to reclaim your love life?

Are you new to dating?

Perhaps your dipping your toes in the water after a dating free few months or years.

Are you feeling fed up with how the whole dating thing is going?

Fed up with going it on your own?  Well, read on because I have some exciting news for you!

Introducing London Dating Workshops for the Pro Active Single Woman

Introducing the ‘Go To Girls’  - Charly Lester and Saskia Nelson, the 2 gorgeous ladies you see above. They will be hosting a series of dating workshops for single women in London & around London.

The workshops are aimed at women who want realistic, relatable advice from approachable dating & relationship experts. They are designed to equip single women with the skills they need to create successful dating profiles and the confidence to head out on fabulous dates. It’s not about just scrating the surface, oh no, it’s about getting REAL with dating and giving you the information you really need.

I’m super excited to have been asked by these ladies, who I admire a lot and have worked with closely for some time, to be a guest speaker at their upcoming workshops ‘Four Simple Steps into Dating’. I am going to be talking about how to focus your search for love so you’re a) looking in the right place b) understand what you are truly looking for c) help you understand where you have gone wrong in the past and finally what you can do to turn it all around and find your special someone. I promise, you will come away feeling motivated, switched on and ready to find and accept love.

Four Simple Steps into Dating Workshop

Tickets available NOW!

This workshop focuses on giving you the support when they really need it – at the beginning of your dating journey.  The four steps and talks by leading industry experts will cover:

  1. Building confidence
  2. Creating stand-out profiles 
  3. Understanding your best match
  4. Making first dates count

Who are the Dating Experts Speaking?

Charly Lester – Guardian Soul mates Blog Editor and writer for her established blog ’30 dates’

Saskia Nelson – Photographer at award winning Saturday Night’s Alright – the UK’s only dedicated dating photography business

Caroline Brealey aka ME! – Award winning Matchmaker and founder of Mutual Attraction Introduction Agency

Rebecca Perkins – Author of ‘Best Knickers Always: 50 Lessons for Midlife’ and Personal performance coach

For more information about the speakers please visit: Go To Girls

When is the London Dating Workshop and Where Can I Get Tickets?

Date: Tuesday 14 October 2014

Time: 7.30pm – 10,30pm

Venue: Courthouse Hotel, 19-21 Great Marlborough St, London W1F 7HL

Tickets: £50 per person, including a welcome glass of Prosecco Email: bookings@gotogirls.dating now to reserve your place.

If you would like further information on this incredible life changing dating workshop for women pop on over to: Go To Girls

Much Love

Caroline x

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A Beautiful Wedding

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Earlier this month C and I set off for the picturesque village of Bramber in West Sussex.

The day of my friend Rhians wedding had come around. I know Rhian from my hazy University days. I say hazy as my memory has been smashed into a million tiny pieces from the amount of cherry sugary ‘VK’ alcopops and apple sour shots I consumed. Studying in Sheffield, a glass of wine was a £1 which spells out 1 word – TROUBLE!

Rhian and I were both part of the cheerleading squad. That’s right, I was a cheerleader. Finished laughing yet….:) Most of my friends find this shockingly hilarious given I can’t even touch my toes, but far from being flung up high to the top of a pyramid, we danced around a lot, did a few chants from the side lines and generally spent our time planning the important things – such as what to wear for fancy dress that night!

Many university friends come and go but when I moved to London some 7 years ago now, I knew Rhian had also gone ‘down south’ (from Sheffield anything below Nottingham is South!). Several years of fun times, singing at the proms and discovering the London club scene together ensued.

She is such a lovely kind hearted person and she has found the perfect soul mate in Raj. Here’s a few photos from their special day number 1. Why 2 special days? Raj is Hindu which means after a traditional Christian Church wedding they will be celebrating this weekend with a Hindu wedding. Happy wedding day #2, i’m sure it will as beautiful wedding :)

 

C and I dressed up and ready to celebrate the love :)

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The Wedding and Celebrations

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Congratulations Rhian and Raj, wishing you all the love and happiness in the world xx

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The Perfect Low Key date

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The Perfect Low Key Date

Getting out there and dating can be daunting, particularly if you haven’t dated for some time.

As you muster the confidence to step back into the dating world, often the sensible option seems to be to start small. A coffee … A quick drink …

But actually these seemingly low key date ideas can carry the most pressure. Charly Lester, editor of Guardian Soulmates blog and writer of The 30 Dates Blog explains why….

I’ve always had the attitude that dating should be fun

I have a very limited amount of spare time, so I want to spend it in enjoyable ways. If I’m giving up an evening socialising with friends, to meet a stranger who I might never see again, then I want to ensure I have a fun night. And my idea of fun isn’t sitting opposite someone, feeling like I’m at a job interview!

The problem with a ‘quick coffee’ is that there are very few distractions. Other than awkwardly staring at your hands, or your drink, you’re sat face to face with a stranger, in a situation that can end up feeling contrived.

I’m an openly chatty person. I love meeting new people and sharing stories … Yes, I’m that girl who will strike up conversation with you on the train, or chat happily at the bus stop. And yet when I look back over my past year (which has involved a LOT of first dates!) all the most awkward were over drinks of some kind.

30 blind dates in 3 months? Challenge accepted!

I should probably explain a bit about myself. I’m something of an unexpected dating blogger. This time last year a guy I really liked messed me around, and put me off dating completely. I had three months left of my twenties, and I wanted to enjoy them. And so I gave myself a challenge. To go on thirty blind dates before my 30th birthday. The result was one of the best summers of my life, and a career change which has seen me write and give advice about dating for national newspapers, TV shows and some of the nation’s biggest dating websites.

So what have I learned from all those dates?

For a start, I find it interesting how people often avoid dinner on a first date, because they think sharing a meal might be too awkward, or presumptuous. And yet I’d always choose a meal over drinks. Yes, I love food, which obviously helps, but by bringing a meal into the equation, you suddenly have something to do during the awkward pauses (eat!), and a meal provides conversational topics – whether it’s really good or really bad!

But if I were to be asked my ideal perfect  low key first date, I’d give an apparently nonsensical answer. Because my ‘low key’ dates, sound anything but low key.

If I want a minimal pressure, relaxed date, I’ll suggest getting out and about.

The zoo. A museum. A comedy show. You get the idea. Dates where there are automatic ice-breakers all around. Dates where you can stand side by side and not have to eye each other up face on. Not everyone is confident sitting face to face. Sitting across from a complete stranger can feel like an interview or an interrogation. As if you’re being sized up. Standing side-by-side, walking around an exhibition, or exploring a new part of a city adds a different dynamic. The shyest of daters will open up.

An active date also lends itself to the possibility of multiple date locations. If the first part of the date goes well, you can move on to a drink, or to a meal. By changing location with your date, you automatically feel closer. As if you have experienced more together. And there will then be shared experiences to discuss over the drinks or dinner. That crazy giraffe you saw at the zoo? Your favourite painting at the exhibit. That joke during the show which had you both crying with laughter.

Fancy a tour around London’s toilets……?

With all that in mind, what were my most low key first dates? A toilet tour of London, which was so bad we escaped to a pub halfway through! An afternoon at London Zoo, where my extremely shy date actually pointed out how much more comfortable he felt walking around and chatting.   Playing Hint Hunt near Euston Station – a game where we were so busy concentrating on the puzzles that we both completely forgot our first date nerves!

Dating is daunting. But it’s also a lot of fun. And this comes from a girl who has spent the vast majority of her spare time for the last year on first dates, and still not found a boyfriend! When I first started my Challenge, I thought dating would be an endless stream of evenings sat in pubs with total strangers. But it’s been anything but. The more fun I made dating, the more I began to enjoy and embrace my single status. I’ve become more confident and happier in myself, and more willing to wait for the right person – because I’m having fun in the here and now.

You won’t be single forever, I promise. So make the most of it!

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Charly Lester writes The 30 Dates Blog. She is the editor of the Guardian Soulmates blog, and one half of the Go To Girls for Dating – dating experts offering advice and workshops to London singles.

You can contact her at charly@30datesblog.com or on Twitter @30Dates.

 

 

 

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Can You Find Love on Tinder?

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Can You Find Love on Tinder?

It turns out you can…….

I know, i’m shocking even myself as the words come out my mouth!

I’m not the worlds biggest fan of Tinder. It’s hugely undermining and encourages us all to be shallow – do we really need any more of that in our World? To judge whether someone might be a compatible partner based on a photo, and to discard another human being at the swipe of a finger is not new, but it is pretty disgusting when you stop and think about it. Needless to say it doesn’t bring out the best in us.

I’m not a totally party pooper though. I get it. It’s fun. You get to see hundreds of people who are (supposedly) single and you can spend your mundane Monday night bantering with a cute guy safe in the knowledge he doesn’t know you’re wearing your 3 year old threadbare Primark PJs. They aint sexy but they are comfy! ;) He goes quiet? Move on to the next.

Tinder – Online dating on heat

Tinder was launched in September 2012 and is reported to have 10 million active users a day.

What I would love to know is how many of those 10 million are:

  • Single?
  • Looking for love?
  • looking for sex?
  • Filling time on a long commute?

Should you try Tinder?

One of my client’s at Mutual Attraction asked me if I thought she should try Tinder. My gut reaction was to scream ‘ARE YOU CRAZY?!’ But then I would be going against my own advice.

I have always stood by the view that, if looking for love, you should put yourself in as many opportunities as possible to meet likeminded people. Be it online, socialising, singles events, matchmaking or being an active part of groups that interest you. Tinder falls into that category.

What concerns me about dating apps like Tinder and ones that are focussed solely on looks, is that as a matchmaker I see the after effect. The number of people I meet who haven’t thought further than what their ideal man would look like is increasing. They haven’t thought of the qualities that will make him into a man they love and respect. They have however, thought about what his hair style will be.

Do you want the Tinder truth?

You will probably end up with someone exactly like the guy you just left swiped.

That’s because we rarely end up with someone we would pick out the crowd if we knew nothing about them. Don’t believe me? Ask friends who are in happy relationships if they would have met their partner if it was based on just 1 little photo. Then ask them again for their honest answer ;)

Even after saying all that, if I’m asked the question ‘can you find love on Tinder’ my response will always be yes. Because you can find love hiding in all sorts of places. You just have to have your brain switched on and separate the wheat from the chaff. There’s a lot of chaff (and chavs!) on Tinder, but equally, there are kind, loving and incredible men (and women – you being one them!). Don’t believe me?

Here’s a few Tinder love stories for you:

This love story proves Tinder isn’t just about hookups

Tinder success stories that make you believe in love all over again

And finally, just to make you laugh….

10 true Tinder stories to make you fall in love or hide under the covers

Now it’s over to you – what do you think, can you find love on Tinder? I would love to hear you stories the good, the bad and the strange! Please share in the comment section below.

Thanks so much for reading, date safe

Much Love

Cx

Want relationship and dating advice straight to your inbox from the ‘Matchmaker of the Year;? Sign up for my FREE newsletter at www.carolinebrealey.co.uk and get the good stuff every Friday!

 

 

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Why Online Dating Isn’t Working For You

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You’ve signed up to an online dating website, spent a torturous hour setting up your profile (hello eHarmony) and you’re not getting so much as a wink – depressing!

“Online dating doesn’t work for me”

If I had a penny for every time I heard that I would be whizzing around London in a snazzy soft top!

You’re right about one thing though – online dating doesn’t work for you. YOU have to work for it! Online dating is, after all, just a platform. How you use that platform and the opportunities it holds is what matters and that’s all down to you…gulp!

If you’re wondering why online dating isn’t working for you, i’m pretty sure one of these reasons may be behind it:

6 Reasons why Online Dating Isn’t Working For You

You don’t actively go on the site

Hands up those who have joined a dating site, logged in every couple of weeks and then felt cheesed off you’re not getting much attention?

Like most things in life if you want something, you gotta go after it. You can’t do online dating by halves. You either go all in or go home my friend because online dating will chew you up and spit you back out if you don’t give it the time and respect it deserves. Don’t have time? Cop out alert! If you haven’t got time don’t sign up in the first place. 15 mins a day is all you need, if finding love is a priority make these 15 minutes a priority EVERY DAY.

You’ve ticked every box possible

Step away from the tick box……

If you love ticking boxes you have got to reign it in. Self imposed barriers to meeting someone and a sure fire way to lower your chance of meeting someone online. It’s time to get realistic. Does it really matter if they don’t have a pet? Or that they’re an Aquarius? Or that they’re 5’10 and not 5’9? Does it matter that they live 10 miles away from you and not 5? Always keep in mind what you’re doing:

You are searching for a LIFE PARTNER.

They say people in love will climb mountains – but if you’re only prepared to look a few streets away you may be in trouble!

You don’t communicate with anyone

There are 1000’s of people online dating and for it to work, you’ve got to get actively involved. This means messaging people, responding to them in a timely fashion and not a week down the line (I once had someone respond over a month later – a month!) and make an effort with you opening message.

Your profile is pants

Your online dating profile is a selling tool. It’s your chance to highlight and showcase how amazing you are. Most of though (especially my fellow Brits) like to be a bit down and out on ourselves, instead making a joke out of the fact we’re ‘a terrible cook’ and about ‘as fit as a rhino’. Hey, don’t run yourself down! You have so much to offer, let it shine through.

If you haven’t taken time to write a quality, thoughtful profile, go back and do it now.

You have bathroom selfies

Nobody wants to see your bathroom. Just no.

You copy and paste

You’re busy, you want to communicate with as many people as possible so you send a quick message saying hello then copy and paste to everyone who catches your eye. It’s not going to work. Pull your finger our lazy bones and type a meaningful message that makes reference to something in their profile. Not read their profile and only looked at the pictures? Get yourself on Tinder instead!

Online dating is am amazing resource but the bottom line is to get the most out of it you have to dedicate time, be pro active and give thought to what you do.

You are worth the investment – do yourself justice

Happy online dating.

Cx

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