Can You Find Love on Tinder?

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Can You Find Love on Tinder?

It turns out you can…….

I know, i’m shocking even myself as the words come out my mouth!

I’m not the worlds biggest fan of Tinder. It’s hugely undermining and encourages us all to be shallow - do we really need any more of that in our World? To judge whether someone might be a compatible partner based on a photo, and to discard another human being at the swipe of a finger is not new, but it is pretty disgusting when you stop and think about it. Needless to say it doesn’t bring out the best in us.

I’m not a totally party pooper though. I get it. It’s fun. You get to see hundreds of people who are (supposedly) single and you can spend your mundane Monday night bantering with a cute guy safe in the knowledge he doesn’t know you’re wearing your 3 year old threadbare Primark PJs. They aint sexy but they are comfy! ;) He goes quiet? Move on to the next.

Tinder – Online dating on heat

Tinder was launched in September 2012 and is reported to have 10 million active users a day.

What I would love to know is how many of those 10 million are:

  • Single?
  • Looking for love?
  • looking for sex?
  • Filling time on a long commute?

Should you try Tinder?

One of my client’s at Mutual Attraction asked me if I thought she should try Tinder. My gut reaction was to scream ‘ARE YOU CRAZY?!’ But then I would be going against my own advice.

I have always stood by the view that, if looking for love, you should put yourself in as many opportunities as possible to meet likeminded people. Be it online, socialising, singles events, matchmaking or being an active part of groups that interest you. Tinder falls into that category.

What concerns me about dating apps like Tinder and ones that are focussed solely on looks, is that as a matchmaker I see the after effect. The number of people I meet who haven’t thought further than what their ideal man would look like is increasing. They haven’t thought of the qualities that will make him into a man they love and respect. They have however, thought about what his hair style will be.

Do you want the Tinder truth?

You will probably end up with someone exactly like the guy you just left swiped.

That’s because we rarely end up with someone we would pick out the crowd if we knew nothing about them. Don’t believe me? Ask friends who are in happy relationships if they would have met their partner if it was based on just 1 little photo. Then ask them again for their honest answer ;)

Even after saying all that, if I’m asked the question ‘can you find love on Tinder’ my response will always be yes. Because you can find love hiding in all sorts of places. You just have to have your brain switched on and separate the wheat from the chaff. There’s a lot of chaff (and chavs!) on Tinder, but equally, there are kind, loving and incredible men (and women – you being one them!). Don’t believe me?

Here’s a few Tinder love stories for you:

This love story proves Tinder isn’t just about hookups

Tinder success stories that make you believe in love all over again

And finally, just to make you laugh….

10 true Tinder stories to make you fall in love or hide under the covers

Now it’s over to you – what do you think, can you find love on Tinder? I would love to hear you stories the good, the bad and the strange! Please share in the comment section below.

Thanks so much for reading, date safe

Much Love

Cx

Want relationship and dating advice straight to your inbox from the ‘Matchmaker of the Year;? Sign up for my FREE newsletter at www.carolinebrealey.co.uk and get the good stuff every Friday!

 

 

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Why Online Dating Isn’t Working For You

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You’ve signed up to an online dating website, spent a torturous hour setting up your profile (hello eHarmony) and you’re not getting so much as a wink – depressing!

“Online dating doesn’t work for me”

If I had a penny for every time I heard that I would be whizzing around London in a snazzy soft top!

You’re right about one thing though - online dating doesn’t work for you. YOU have to work for it! Online dating is, after all, just a platform. How you use that platform and the opportunities it holds is what matters and that’s all down to you…gulp!

If you’re wondering why online dating isn’t working for you, i’m pretty sure one of these reasons may be behind it:

6 Reasons why Online Dating Isn’t Working For You

You don’t actively go on the site

Hands up those who have joined a dating site, logged in every couple of weeks and then felt cheesed off you’re not getting much attention?

Like most things in life if you want something, you gotta go after it. You can’t do online dating by halves. You either go all in or go home my friend because online dating will chew you up and spit you back out if you don’t give it the time and respect it deserves. Don’t have time? Cop out alert! If you haven’t got time don’t sign up in the first place. 15 mins a day is all you need, if finding love is a priority make these 15 minutes a priority EVERY DAY.

You’ve ticked every box possible

Step away from the tick box……

If you love ticking boxes you have got to reign it in. Self imposed barriers to meeting someone and a sure fire way to lower your chance of meeting someone online. It’s time to get realistic. Does it really matter if they don’t have a pet? Or that they’re an Aquarius? Or that they’re 5’10 and not 5’9? Does it matter that they live 10 miles away from you and not 5? Always keep in mind what you’re doing:

You are searching for a LIFE PARTNER.

They say people in love will climb mountains – but if you’re only prepared to look a few streets away you may be in trouble!

You don’t communicate with anyone

There are 1000′s of people online dating and for it to work, you’ve got to get actively involved. This means messaging people, responding to them in a timely fashion and not a week down the line (I once had someone respond over a month later – a month!) and make an effort with you opening message.

Your profile is pants

Your online dating profile is a selling tool. It’s your chance to highlight and showcase how amazing you are. Most of though (especially my fellow Brits) like to be a bit down and out on ourselves, instead making a joke out of the fact we’re ‘a terrible cook’ and about ‘as fit as a rhino’. Hey, don’t run yourself down! You have so much to offer, let it shine through.

If you haven’t taken time to write a quality, thoughtful profile, go back and do it now.

You have bathroom selfies

Nobody wants to see your bathroom. Just no.

You copy and paste

You’re busy, you want to communicate with as many people as possible so you send a quick message saying hello then copy and paste to everyone who catches your eye. It’s not going to work. Pull your finger our lazy bones and type a meaningful message that makes reference to something in their profile. Not read their profile and only looked at the pictures? Get yourself on Tinder instead!

Online dating is am amazing resource but the bottom line is to get the most out of it you have to dedicate time, be pro active and give thought to what you do.

You are worth the investment – do yourself justice

Happy online dating.

Cx

Want relationship and dating advice straight to your inbox from the ‘Matchmaker of the Year’? Sign up for my FREE newsletter at www.carolinebrealey.co.uk to get the good stuff every Friday!

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Love Online – Celebrating 20 Years of Internet Dating

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Calling all Dating Bloggers….this post is for you!

Internet dating is officially 20 years old in 2014. Yes, the business of turning singles into couples is coming of age and to celebrate this Strictly Dating are launching a campaign for all the single bloggers out there #20yrsonlinedating. We’d like to invite you to go on a paid for date and then tell us and your readers all about it – the good, the bad, the ugly! If you fancy getting involved then contact us for more information. It could be fun!

And for some original first date conversation here’s a quick romp through the history of internet dating.

History of Online Dating

The first online dating service was created in 1995 and initially was very simple matching people based on profiles of likes and dislikes but even this was a revelation at the time.  Internet Dating then for many years struggled to shake off it’s image of being seen as only for geeks. Then in 2000 dating services launched that used a computer program to suggest the most compatible matches which we now know as an algorithm.

Today internet dating is has gone mainstream with over 40% of people having tried online dating. But what about the future? Recent technological advancements have created an online dating scene in which participants can meet people from the comforts of their own homes, talk face-to-face in real time using, phones, tablets and other mobile devices and apps like Tinder are also revolutionising the way we meet people online.

What do you think online dating will look like in 10 years?

Join the Campaign

To be part of our #20yearsdating campaign for single bloggers and go on a free date get in touch with us. All we ask is the you blog about your first date experiences warts and all.

www.strictlydating.com/20-years-online-dating/

 

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Talking Relationships & Money on TV Show DKW

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Relationships and Money – a sticky subject?

You know me, I LURVE to talk.

So when I was asked to talk about relationships and money on TV show ‘A Different Kind of Woman’ I jumped at the chance.

The show is filmed live here in London and nothing beats the buzz of being around the hustle and bustle of a TV studio – such an adrenaline rush!

Relationship and Money Questions

Should you know what your partner earns?
How should bills be split?
What if your partner has debts?
Should you have joint bank accounts?
Do you need to justify what you spend to your partner?

All these questions, and more, answered in the show. Check out around the 10:30 mark for my segment.

Thanks for watching and if you have a questions about relationships and money I would be happy to help, just leave a comment below.

Much love.

Caroline x

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Day in the life of a Professional Matchmaker

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What does a professional matchmaker do?

People ask me all the time what it’s like to be a professional matchmaker. I would love to say it’s all glitz and glam lying around on a chaise longue whilst everyone falls in love around me. The reality is a tad different and unfortunately includes the dreaded….excel spreadsheets! You can’t escape them even if you play cupid ;)

That being said I love my job. It’s great fun and there aren’t many other occupations you get to meet gorgeous, interesting singles on a daily basis! Want to know what it’s really like being a matchmaker? What does a professional matchmaker do on a daily basis? Here’s what I got up to last Tuesday 22nd July 2014.

A Day in The Life of a Matchmaker

07:30 – 08:00am

My day starts at 7.30am – with a strong mug of English Breakfast tea! I’m not a morning person and long to be one of those people who jump sprightly out of bed, before their alarm goes off, ready and raring to go. Instead I haul my ass outta bed at 7.30am, flick the kettle on, jump in the shower and am at my laptop blurry eyes by 8am. 8:01 and I feel guilty!

I sometimes meditate in the morning but find that in the afternoon it works best for me, preferring instead to get straight down to work.

08:00 – 11:00am

The first 3 hours of each day are set aside for my inbox and phone. As most of my clients work during the day they email at night, meaning come the morning, I have a lot of emails to sift through! Much of it is responding to clients to see whether they are happy to meet their next match, coordinating dates, sending profiles, chasing up feedback from a date and scheduling consultations with potential clients. I love calling clients to get the gossiper, erm I mean insights into how things are going. As a matchmaker it’s super important I build a great relationship with my clients and a quick call can end up lasting an hour.  I always underestimate how long this takes!

11:00am – 12:00pm

If I don’t have a lunchtime meeting, I’ll switch off my inbox and work on a daily short project. I do 1 per day. This can be anything from writing an article for the Mutual Attraction blog, contacting journalists about new research and articles to getting chatty on social media or proof reading new clients profiles. I love this part of the day as there’s something so satisfying about crossing things off my ‘to do list’.

12:00-13:00pm

If I’m lucky enough to have lunch at home like today, my other half C will join me. Having stared at the laptop for the last 4 hours it’s time to switch it off and the hour whizzes by in a blur of eating, chatting, reading a few chapters of my book and getting ready for the afternoon.

13:00 – 14:30pm

My team of head hunters have forwarded me the details of a single man they want me to meet. In the email they say he’s ‘44, 6’1, handsome and charismatic’ so I’m excited to meet him. We have scheduled a meeting at the Grand Café in the Royal Exchange in Bank for 1.30pm so I jump on the DLR just after 1pm.

Right on time the dashing Andrew arrives and we settle in for a good chat over coffee. He is smart, funny and polite and I enjoy our conversation. Before we know it, it’s 2.30pm and he shoots back to the office leaving me with my mind whirling with the ladies I want to introduce him to. In my head I’m already buying a hat ;)

14:30 – 16:00pm

I’m tight on time so head to the tube to get over to Mayfair where I have a meeting at 3pm at The Fox Club. Another head hunted chap who I’m already matching in my head until he says ‘I may be 51 but I’m looking for a younger woman in her late 20s’. Holding back the urge to say ‘dream on’ I wrap up the meeting early as he’s not a suitable member for Mutual Attraction. I love working with real people with real lives but from time to time I do meet some interesting characters ;)

16:00 – 18:00pm

My fellow matchmakers arrive at The Fox Club and it’s time to get down to business. This is a highlight of my week and also the most serious part. It’s here that we decide who to match together over the coming week. We look at each client in turn and make a decision on who is the best person to match them with. As members meet only one person at a time it takes a lot of coordination and where one client matches with several people, as a team, we decide who to match first.

We start off by looking at the basics – age, children, religion etc and then delve deeper. After 2 hours (and if we haven’t gossiped too much!) we should have a potential match for every one of our clients. On the following Monday we will present profiles to members in the hope of getting the big thumbs up to a date! If we don’t, it’s back to the drawing board the following week.

18:00 – 20:00pm

It’s back east for me as I head over to London Bridge on the tube for my final meeting of the day at the London Bridge Hotel. Today I’m meeting with a potential client. She’s a gorgeous 34 year old lawyer who’s a little nervous to meet me but soon relaxes when she realises i’m intimidating as kitten! She laughed and said she thought I would tell her off and shout like Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger! An hour after chatting we say our farewells with me promising to send her further information about the matchmaking service tomorrow. Time to head home as it’s been a busy day.

20:00-21:00pm

Quick check of emails as I haven’t had the chance to check them since lunchtime and make notes from my meetings today. I never respond to anyone at this time of night but I like to tie up the loose ends of the day so I know where I’m at for tomorrow. I spot an email from a client saying she had lunch with her date and that they had already planned another date at the weekend. This is why I LOVE matchmaking!

21:00pm

Time to chill….and then a dating show comes on tv and I can’t resist tweeting about it @Matchmaker_Miss!

Then tomorrow I do it all again! I’m lucky, as a matchmaker no 2 days are ever the same. Some days I’ll work from home all day speaking with clients of the phone, emailing and working on projects. Other times I’ll be out all day zipping around London at initial consultations.

If you’re reading this and thinking ‘I want to do that’ (minus the excel spreadsheet of course) why not consider a career in Matchmaking? Find out if it’s right for you in my book ‘Matchmaking – Create Your own Business. A Step by Step Guide to Launching Your Matchmaking Career’ available now on Amazon.

Thanks so much for reading.

Cx

 

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Afternoon Tea at Royal Garden Hotel London

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C and I are big fans of Afternoon Tea, who isn’t?! He may not be so much of a sucker for the sweet stuff as I am, but he loves the whole quintessentially British affair. I’ve even spotted his pinky sticking out when he uses the dinky bone china cups!

Courtesy of my lovely sister Sally (thanks for the Christmas gift!) today we were off for a date day together - first to Kensington Palace and then on to indulge in afternoon tea at the Royal Garden Hotel a few minutes walk away.

We arrived a little early for our 1pm reservation as the temperature outside was pushing it’s way past 28 degrees. It was hot hot hot! As we walked through the doors and the cool air con hit, it was a moment of pure bliss! We were led into the bar to enjoy an ice cold coke and cool down before 1pm arrived and we were taken to our table in the Park Terrace.

Bring me cake!

Bring me the cakes!

First impression? There was a really lack of charm. It’s quite a modern hotel inside and perhaps that’s why, it was all very ‘white’ and ‘workey’. 1pm is the first sitting for afternoon tea so no surprise there was no real atmosphere yet but before long the small area was full including a big hen party – a regular sight at any afternoon tea. This time there were no willy bopper hats though ;)

We were impressed by the teas and we liked the added touch that they bring over the teas in jars for you to have a smell and decide which one you would like.

tea at royal garden hotel

After ohhing and arring and sniffing every bottle (classy) I opted for a very exotic English breakfast tea! C went for a ‘Blooming Jewel’ – a white flower tea that blooms in the pot.

We were asked whether we wanted to upgrade to the Royal Tea which included a glass of Théophile Roederer NV champagne and strawberries drizzled with balsamic but we declined. I think the heat must have sent me crazy to decline champagne ;)

The tea arrived and we watched the flower bloom. Shame the pot wasn’t a little bigger as it was hard to see. My tea was lovely and strong but….and do say if you think i’m being a bit of a tea geek here….wouldn’t you think that at a 5* hotel, when they’ve gone through all the fuss of getting you sniffing the teas you would have tea leaves? Alas, as I peered into my beautiful looking tea pot I was dismayed to find a lone tea bag bobbing up and down. Sob. As lovely tasting as the tea was, this is afternoon tea. Come on Royal Garden Hotel, part and parcel of afternoon tea is faffing with the strainers!

tea at royal garden hotel

Shortly after our sandwiches were brought over and we were a little surprised that we had a plate each with them piled on. It didn’t look bad, just not quite the elegant presentation that comes with teeny tiny sandwiches.

royal garden hotel afternoon tea review sandwiches

After doing a swap (me nabbing Cs chicken and egg mayo sandwiches) we dived in. The sandwiches were very good apart from the somewhat random ‘tomato salsa’. Red onion overdrive! A good selection and plenty, just presented a little poorly with some token green stuff on top which I believe is there to make you feel good about yourself before you shovel in pounds of sugar.

Which brings me onto the good stuff! The cakes and scones arrived and they did not disappoint. Spot on. 4 warm scones nestled under cover on the bottom tier of the cake stand. 2 of which were delicately infused with cinnamon and they were nothing short of amazing. Delicious. Who would have thought cinnamon in scones could taste so damn good?! Plenty of cream and I was impressed by the different takes on the jam – what seemed to be homemade strawberry and a tasty pineapple.

cake tier at royal garden hotels

The cakes were equally good though by this point we were pathetically full. Again we’re blaming it on the heat and not the fact we are wusses and can’t handle a few sandwiches and cakes ;)

On the middle tier were 4 small slices of different loaf cakes – chocolate, cherry, plain and fruit. All very good.

cake

The pastries were a chocolate and coffee tart, a coconut macaroon cake (to die for), a raspberry swirl cake and if my memory is correct (it was 5 hours ago!) a lemon cake with fondant. All were tasty.

Cakes

We had read before that if you want more scones you will be charged extra but we were so full we didn’t manage to eat everything we had but we did sample everything and it gets a thumbs up for taste.

Would I go again for afternoon tea? Probably not. It’s good value at £26 per person which for London is very good but there was a real lack of ‘experience’ and for me, that’s what I love about this tradition. The table next to us was so close that we had to resist whispering sweet nothings to one another so I wouldn’t recommend for a date! A nice place to take your mum when in London but there are far too many afternoon teas to sample across London to stick to the same one.

That being said I would gladly indulge in one of those cinnamon scones again! ;)

Happy dating
Cx

To book afternoon tea at the Royal Garden Hotel, Kensington in the Park Terrace please visit: Royal Garden Hotel

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Should You Hold Onto Gifts From Your Ex?

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I have a beautiful chunky amber ring I wear everyday – I feel naked without it! I look at it and it just feels so me! It was also a gift from my ex-boyfriend.

I can’t believe you still wear that” a friend said in disbelief.

Like my friend, I have always been a firm believer ex’s are in the past for a reason, we learn from them and move on leaving them in the past, along with mementos of the relationship. Things that were once adored and sacred but are now a reminder of a past love. The teddy bears, the love notes, the ticket stubs from your first date. Gifts from your ex? Straight in the bin!

So what’s changed?

I feel secure. I feel safe in my relationship, content and fulfilled. In the past I have made ex’s throw away photos, trinkets and once even a board game that were given to them by their ex. I know, sign me up for the dr! Now I know why I behaved like that. I felt threated that these possessions marked a hidden love my partner had for his ex. I didn’t like that someone had ‘been there before me’. I wanted to be the one and only. That’s fine if I was 16 but in my mid 20’s it was unlikely to find a guy who had never been on a date before. More importantly would I want to meet a guy who had never been on a date?!

Our past experiences, and most importantly the way we deal with them, are what shape us to who we are today. For most of us, we have been in relationships in the past. We have a history.

What does holding onto a gift from an ex mean?

It doesn’t mean they still love their ex nor does it mean you are second best.

Think back to any significant period in your life – university, the holiday of a lifetime, a big birthday. Have you held onto something that reminds you of that time? Perhaps it’s a photo, a vase that caught your eye in the Moroccan markets or in the case of my friend Emma, a garden gnome presented to her at an awards ceremony! Unless you take the ‘no clutter’ approach, you’ve probably amassed a random selection of bits and bobs throughout your life journey.

Why then, if it’s ok to hold onto mementoes of those occasions, should we not hold onto anything from a past relationship that was a huge part of our life for x amount of years. Rather than seeing your partners ex as a threat, see them as the person who ironed out the creases ;) The person you adore and who adores you back. They are a part of your partners past, you are their present and future.

I have a confession

After my ‘heartbreak in Hong Kong’ (I moved to HK with an ex, who cheated on and dumped me shortly after moving my life there, leaving me in the City alone) I jumped into a relationship. I was still hurting and in a crazy jealous place. My new guy had a painting on the wall. One day I took it down and on the back there was a love message. I was livid. I went berserk, accusing him of still loving her and generally being an all-round crazy woman. At the time it didn’t feel crazy, I felt insecure, angry, jealous and hurt. Looking back, I’m embarrassed by my behaviour. Do you know why he had the painting on the wall? Because he liked it, as did I till that point. That was it. Did he pine for her? No? But my stroppy teenage girl behaviour wasn’t making him a big fan of me either.

“I’m upset my boyfriend has photos and presents from his ex girlfriend”

If there is something your partner has that you’re not comfortable with, talk to him. Open communication will help resolve the issue without coming to blows. Talk to him before your mind starts forming assumptions. Our minds like to do that ;)

Encourage him to have a memory box – or rename it something less cliché and manly! Any bits and pieces from his ex go in there and the box goes away. Memories are in our mind and hearts but it’s completely acceptable to want to hold onto a few physical memories. I have a box which has cards and gifts from my childhood sweethearts – I had a few! Every now and again when back home I dig it out and I love sifting through the plastic rose and a personal favourite - the forever friend’s earrings!

Be respectful with past relationship mementoes and encourage your boyfriend to be the same. If he respects you, he will. Know where your line is.

Here are a few conversation starters to bring up the issue before it becomes a big deal:

  1. I’ve noticed you have lots of photos of (ex). It makes me feel uncomfortable; lets have a chat about it.
  2. I’ve been thinking about that lamp (ex) brought you. I think it’s looking a bit tired now, let’s get a new one this weekend when we go shopping.
  3. I’ve got a box with things from my ex in, how do you feel about doing the same?

Don’t forget – your partner has chosen to be with you. He wants to send his life with YOU, nobody else. Think of the bigger picture, this huge issue for you right now will be a teeny tiny blip 20 years down the line when you’re still happily in love :)

Much Love

Cx

Want relationship and dating advice straight to your inbox from the UKs Best Matchmaker?  Sign up for my FREE newsletter at www.carolinebrealey.co.uk to get the juicy stuff every Friday!

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Matchmaking Service for Pets – Yes Really!

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A new matchmaking service has launched in China….for animals!

That’s right, you can now enlist a matchmaker to find your dog his bitch (excuse the pun), your cockatoo his bird of fancy and your pussycat her fluffy feline.

Not only will the matchmakers find your dog the love of their life, they will also throw the wedding of the century (perhaps) for them.

Pets can even go through the motions of having a wedding ceremony, including miniature wedding dresses and tuxedos, bridal bouquets, balloons and a “marriage certificate” signed with paw prints, for just 300 yuan ($48). Forget Kim Kardashian this is the wedding you want an invite too!

Alas, not even animals escape the heartache that an ending marriage can bring. Two schnauzers have had to be separated after the owners fought over who the puppies belonged too. Coming in the way of true doggy love – shame on them!

I want to hear from you, would you use a matchmaking to find you pet love? Share your thoughts below.

Much Love

Cx

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What You Can Learn From a Bad Date

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There’s nothing quite like the anticipation of a date.

The excitement and slight nausea all rolled into one that forms the butterflies flapping around in your stomach. The heady anticipation that this could be it. This could be ‘the one’. Followed by the crashing back down to reality when you realise it’s unlikely that Jon, the Adonis who filled your online dating website screen, is going to be the one for you. You’re basing that judgement on the fact the man in front of you is definitely 20 years older, smells like a garbage truck and appears to be missing a front tooth.

When a date doesn’t go as planned you’re left disappointed. You go from high to low in the space of an evening and feel back at square one. Its part and parcel of dating. What really matters though is what you take away from the date because you can learn from a bad date…even a really rubbish one!

Each date is a unique experience. One you cannot predict. In reality there are very few really ‘bad’ dates that happen. A bad date to me is where something truly awful happens. If the guy is boring, argumentative or just downright weird – it’s an experience. Ok maybe not one you want to relive but nonetheless you can learn from a bad date.

What You Can Learn From a Bad Date and How to Do It

Reflection

6 dates in a row have been a wash out. Why? This is a perfect opportunity to reflect on your dates and your dating patterns. Looking back what do the dates share in common? Perhaps you are going for a certain ‘type’ or putting too tight restrictions on whom you’re willing to meet. For example if all your dates have been with big shots in the City and you’ve found them dull you might want to mix it up. Go out with people from all walks of life, with new stories, views and experiences to share. Reflect on yourself. Perhaps you also need to take responsibility for a date not going well. Did you make an effort to engage conversation? What did you contribute to the date? Think about what you can learn from your behaviour and how you might behave differently in a similar situation in the future.

Finally, reflecting back on the date now – what did you learn? It doesn’t need to be ground breaking but each experience we have we learn something new about ourselves and/or confirm a belief we have. Knowing yourself will lead to happier, more positive dating experiences.

Expectations

Keep your expectations in check. Wealthy, 6’3 versions of Bradley Cooper are had to come by! On a serious note though, the limitations you are imposing could be playing a major part of an unsuccessful date. We can easily get swept along with the tick lists, the must haves and the non-negotiable. Would you compromise personality for height, humour for working in a specific sector or compassion and trust for living down the road from you? No, of course you wouldn’t. But could it be that you’re doing that inadvertently by imposing so many barriers before you even sit down with someone for a glass of wine? Take time out to think about what is truly important for you in a relationship and the qualities and character of the person you hope to one day share a life with. Base your expectation on those things – they are the benchmark.

Never see a date as a waste of time. See it for what it is – a wonderful opportunity to share a short amount of time with someone new. If the magic and mystifying spark is there, it’s the cherry on the big cake of what is your fabulous life :)

Safe dating

Cx

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How to Let a Guy know You’re Interested

How to let a guy know you're interested
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How to Let a Guy Know You’re Interested.

He’s hot, you’re cute and you should totally be together. Only problem? He’s not a mind reader. He doesn’t know you spend your working day practising your new signature with his surname or refresh his twitter page every few hours. You don’t do that do you? Course you don’t, ahem, let’s move on….

Guys have got a raw deal. They’re expected to come over to us, strike up a conversation, be hilariously witty, smart and kind all in one go. They have a few seconds to impress us. It’s no surprise then, that guys appreciate a clear ‘come and talk to me’ signal. Here’s how to let a guy know you’re interested whilst maintaining your cool…..

How to Let a Guy Know You’re Interested

Eye Contact

One of the most powerful tools you have – your eyes. If you’ve ever experienced eye contact in a flirting situation before, you know how amazing it can be. You catch their eye, you spend maybe just 2 seconds looking at one another and that’s all that’s needed to get the butterflies going.

There’s a fine line between a subtle ‘meeting of the eyes’ and a full blown ‘my god you are hot and I can’t stop staring’ eye contact. Don’t keep staring in his direction. Gaze around the room, from time to time looking in his direction. If he looks up and catches your eye hold your gaze for a count of 3 then lower your eyes. 3 seconds is longer than you think – try it now.

Smile

Obvious? Not always. If you’re focussing on getting their attention you can get so wrapped up you forget to smile! You stare and don’t smile…creepy alert! Smiling is free, sexy and sends a clear message – I’m happy, I’m into you and I’m fun. :)

‘My Friend Fancies You’

Being a matchmaker has taught me that 1) dating doesn’t get easier as you get older and 2) the playground antics/games still apply no matter whether you’re single, divorced, a dating virgin or an experienced pro. Sometimes you just gotta suck it up and accept that dating can be a bit embarrassing. But if it means you meet the love of your life who the hell cares?! Think of the end game. Ask your friends to work their magic and play matchmaker.

They can subtly (hopefully) let slip to your love interest that not only are you super awesome but you kind of think the same of him. They shouldn’t completely let the cat out the bag but they can drop enough hints so you are on his radar.

Banter

He’s made the effort to come over. He says hi. You say hi back. Then you watch him sweat whilst he tries to strike up a conversation. Help the poor guy out! Flirting works 2 ways. If you close up he’s going to think you were eyeing up the guy next to him and make a dash for it. Ask him questions, make general chit chat about where you are and engage in a bit of friendly banter.

Tease

And I don’t mean your hair – though that’s a good idea! A bit of gentle teasing and playful banter will keep him on his toes and get things fired up between the 2 of you. Playful jokes and a few pokes in the ribs is all in good jest, just don’t go too far. There’s a fine line between a joke and offending someone. Oh and remember – if you dish it out be prepared to accept it back with style.

‘Say my name, Say my name’

“So Darren, what do you do when you’re not out causing trouble on a Friday night?” Said with a smile and a cheeky glint in your eye naturally ;) it’s amazing the difference using someone’s name can have. He’ll know you’re listening and he’ll feel the centre of your attention which is exactly where you want him.

Get Touchy

A simple squeeze of his arm whilst you wind him up a tad? Smart move. Guys like to be touched, who doesn’t? Done correctly it can be very effective in letting him know you’re interested. A quick graze of the hand, squeeze of the shoulder or brush of the arm when stood next to one another is a sure fire way to prick his interest.

So there you have it, 7 ways how to let him know you’re interested and into him. Have you noticed I missed an important tip off? You could just tell him. But that’s too easy and where’s the fun in that?! :)

Got a great way to let a guy to know that you’re interested in him? Then I want to hear from you, share your top tip below.

Happy Flirting

Cx

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